A new vernacular
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
cortneyandjon in humor, parenting

We realized today that since Calvin's arrival, several average terms have taken on very new definitions in our household.
 
Blow out - No, not a flat tire on the interstate, but a diaper that doesn't hold it all
Ceiling fan - You thought this was a household item used to circulate the air, but really it's the most fascinating "toy" in our home
Genie - Not a character that comes out of a lamp, or a star from a popular 1960s sitcom, but a trash can specifically made to collect dirty diapers
A good night's sleep
- Forget 10, or even 8, hours in a row, we're lucky to get five most nights
gymillustration.jpgGym - No longer a place that adults visit to work out, now a floor mat about 2.5'x2.5' with overhead bars and dangling animals (see picture at right)
Hero
- Not just any brave person, but a person who willingly uses some part of their body to block a stream of urine, an explosion of poop, or a waterfall of spitup in order to protect the furniture, floor, baby's clothing, etc.
Magic fingers
- No longer a quarter operated bed in a room at a cheesy roadside motel, this is our infant sized vibrating recliner chair
Making pants 
- not a sewing feat, but the baby's job which always ends in his needing a new diaper which, in turn, often results in great consternation for his parents (see also Blow out, Hero)(see picture at bottom)
Midnight snack - not cookies for adults, and not usually at midnight, this is the time that the baby decides he needs to eat between when we go to bed at night and when we get up the next morning.
 
And a small sample of other terms that have also made daily usage in our house: fussies, nap, onesie, tummy time, sleeper, etc.

instructionsillustration.jpg

Article originally appeared on Cortney and Jon Ophoff's Family Site (http://www.theophoffs.com/).
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