Listening

"Close your eyes....what do you hear?"

We sit on the damp ground, our eyes closed to the autumn sun, the temporary blindness igniting our other senses; I feel the wind as much as I hear it, and it smells like fall.

"I hear a cardinal!"

"Yes, and finches, too—they're the quiet bubbly ones."

"You mean the ones that sound like this?" (enter cacophony of strange toddler vocalizations)

"Well, sort of. What else do you hear?"

"Mmmmmm....the wind, and the leaves."

"The wind in the leaves?"

"No, I hear the leaves falling... See mommy? Did you hear that?"

He's right. There is a lot that I haven't heard, haven't thought of, haven't paid attention to in many, many years, if ever I did, and now it all seems so obvious and invigorating, as brought to my attention by a three year old. Out here in the clearing, the woods devoid of their summer color and life, I can clearly hear the sound of leaves falling, hitting branches on the way down and coming to rest against the forest floor with an undignified fump.

We spent an hour or so late this morning hiking around the woods and clearing near our house. This is a favorite pastime of ours, and every different season brings its own joys there. Today we spent most of that time talking about fall—a conversation that led to talking about the five senses. By the time we got home we had a list of the many ways in which we can sense the season of fall using all five senses. We also had a bag filled with the many things we couldn't bring ourselves to leave behind, so we made a mural. Paste is a beautiful thing, though not nearly as beautiful as the mental processes of a three year old esuriently consuming the world around him.

Family game night

Milton Bradley would love us. I remember back when they started their "family game night" ad campaign on T.V.

Yesterday Calvin and met, for the first time, with the Ann Arbor Unschooling group for an afternoon of games and fun. It was definitely fun. It also reminded me that games, board games, card games, dance around the room acting like a ninny games, have long been an ingredient of the family institution. At least for some. When we got home I dug around the in the basement, but the majority of our games (except perhaps for Twister) are mainly for the college age crowd and up (I'm thinking Calvin wouldn't do so hot with Trivial Pursuit, which we own five editions of). So today I dug around in my childhood basement, the basement of parents' home, but most of those games were just a tad too old also (Connect Four was a hit at the gathering, but more as a construct/deconstruct activity, not a game). So, as sad as it is, we resorted to buying new. In the future we'll watch yard sales and resale shops, but I just didn't want to miss the moment in this case.

Hi-Ho Cherry-O. Remember the 80s? Or even the 70s? It goes back even further than that, and has continued to change with the times. It's not the same game, and I'm struggling with a real feeling of remorse, having found a number of old ones, even the 1960s true original, on ebay.

This is the game I remember, or at least something close to it

The new game is a tad more colorful. It also comes with an optional variation for cooperative play, which is a great idea for family game night, but I'm pretty sure we could have come up with it on our own.

I think it's just nostalgia that is disappointing me. Who cares what color the cherries are? It's the same plastic (I think), and the same cardboard (really, it didn't get flimsier!), and probably the same amount fun. My real comfort lies in the hour of pure joy we enjoyed as a family; Friday night, picnic on the floor in the sitting room, family game play—I think we have a new tradition.

Did you know family game night came with its own ninja?

Go Away Big Green Scary Monster!, by Ed Emberley (our review)

Another library book that I think is about to become a regular visitor at our house. This is a book that our fabulous children's librarian has read several times with the help of her not-so-big, green, not-so-scary monster puppet, and the kids love it every time. In our current felt craze I had the idea to make a monster with multiple face options (a play on the make your own monster puppet toy by Melissa and Doug). When, in the making, Calvin started requesting a number of specific decorations I started to recognize the little green guy, and Calvin requested that we check out the book the next time we visited the library.

Book Review, 11/5: Go Away Big Green Scary Monster!, by Ed Emberley

Cortney: So, what do you like about this book?

Calvin: (reading the book) ...has two yellow eyes...

Cortney: Or what's your favorite part?

Calvin: (still reading) ...and a long bluish greenish nose...

Cortney: I love that you can make a monster while you read it, how about you?

Calvin: (reading) ...goodbye big red mouth...

Cortney: Which page is your favorite?

Calvin: (coming to the last page) ...and don't come back until I say so! (now to me) I love the nose, don't you?

His rapt attention speaks for itself. As a book it's pretty sparse, but it sure it is cute, and it was just made to go with an activity like a puppet or a felt board. Calvin really loves it and I have no complaints at all.

This is how we felt

It's the librarian that made us do it. I have intended to get Calvin a felt board for over a year now, but something or other just always seemed to get in the way. Mostly I struggled between feeling intimidated by the thought of making one, and appalled at the thought of buying something that should be so easy to make. I think I would have gone with my own ignorant waffling for quite some time if Calvin hadn't suddenly become obsessed with the act of playing librarian. We love story time at our library: we love the books, we love the music, we love the rhymes, and oh do we love the felt. It became suddenly impossible to stall the felt board project any further when I walked into our play room to find him sitting on his chair, reading books to his story time participants (of which Mouse was a part).After that I decided it was finally time to put my intimidation to rest, and making a passable felt board was so incredibly easy, I can only wonder why I waited this long.

For our board:
My mom brought us a large cut of felt from one of her craft store trips and I already had a foam board on hand in poster-board size (whatever that is, I didn't measure). I set the foam board on the felt and cut (the felt) to within three inches on all sides. Starting with one side I then folded over the extra and stapled in in place, making sure that the back end of the staple is at the back of the board. I used about 10 staples on the long side and six on the short, although this was probably overkill. Since not all the staples seemed secure I also used three inch masking tape to adhere the loose ends of felt in the back. The board rests nicely on our easel, or on the floor, or pretty much anywhere else he wishes to take it.

For our characters and shapes:
Squares of colorful craft felt are easy to find. We found about twenty different colors at our JoAnn Fabrics store (did you know they actually make felt out of recycled post-consumer plastic bottles? It's called eco-fi), and our Meijer also had a small selection of colors in their craft section. These squares run about 25 to 30 cents per piece. You can also buy adhesive backed felt for creating characters from multiple cuts and colors, although I just used a hot glue gun (better than regular or fabric glue because it doesn't bleed through the felt). I started out with some craft stencils I had, and I cut the first 9 numbers out free-hand, but when things started to get more specific I turned to the internet. To make a collection of animals to go with our Old MacDonald CD I did a Google image search for coloring pages of each animal (for example, "coloring page duck"), saved the image of my choice to my desktop, and used my image preview to get it to the size I wanted. Then I used tracing paper to trace the image from the screen, taped the tracing paper to the main color, and cut out my animal. Voila! To add other colors, like spots on the cow, I taped the same traced picture (now already cut out in the shape of the cow) to the new color of felt (in this case black) and cut out around the details (keep in mind that you want to cut shapes from largest to smallest, since you will be cutting the tracing paper along with the felt). I used hot glue to adhere the different pieces, and a pen or marker to add details I couldn't cut out (although this snags to felt, so I use this technique sparingly).

Our felt collection at this time consists of a school scenario (for Mary Had a Little Lamb), an Old MacDonald collection, and a large Pumpkin with several different shape pieces for making different jack-o-lantern faces. In subsequent shopping trips we have added new colors and now googly eyes as well, and Calvin has requested several more fun sets I can't wait to make. This is one of my favorite toys so far.

Our extended rear facing toddler.

Our 33 pound, three year old little boy, is still safely tucked into in a rear facing convertible seat whenever he is riding in a motor vehicle. This is not popular culture, and we know it. If we didn't know it before, the amount of commentary we've received from the peanut gallery has certainly brought it to our attention. But we believe that the information available says this is the safest way for him to ride, and like most parents we are committed to keeping our child safe. So why does extended rear facing (ERF), though gaining in popularity, remain purely a counter-culture movement? I'm sure there are a lot of reasons, but a failure to circulate important facts, coupled with general confusion, is probably the biggest culprit. As new first time parents we knew nothing about ERF, but when it came time to buy a new carseat, careful online research introduced us to the movement, and further research won us over. This is a site about child development and learning, and this is a post about child development, and about learning—it's about what we learned regarding ERF because we think it's a really important issue.

The CDC ranks motor vehicle accidents as the leading cause of death in young children, but car seat safety can be a rather confusing topic for many new parents. State laws require that an infant remain in a rear facing restraint system until they reach one year of age and 20 pounds in weight, but many parents read this either as a mere suggestion, or as an either/or option, turning their children around when they reach 20 pounds before their first year, or vise versa. And the confusion extends way beyond the first year—the AAP says that we should keep our kids rear facing for as long as their convertible car seat will allow, but not all its member practices seem to be aware of this. At Calvin's one year appointment the RN who welcomed us was actually apalled that we planned to keep him rear facing for as long as possible and I had to remind her that we were complying with AAP recommendations. This is in stark contrast to the RN who, just last week, did the installation check on our new car seat and commended us on our ERF decision. If the medical professionals we trust can't even straighten it out, is it any wonder that it's a confusing issue for parents?

So why is rear facing so much safer? Simply put, kids aren't built like adults. In fact, a child's cervical vertibrae do not reach maturity (or ossify) until some time between their third and sixth year. Add to that the fact that a child's head is a greater percentage of his body weight, and you've got a rather precarious situation. If the forces in a crash are great enough, that relatively large head can be thrust forward, putting undue stress on the immature vertibrae and leading to spinal damage, sometimes even to internal decapitation and death. Still tempted to submit to the "well everyone does it" line of the popular culture gurus? Sure, most people do turn their kids around at one year, and a rare few of those are the reasons we have such horrendous factoids to share. I don't want to belong to that club. Besides, not everyone does do it.

The Swedes are well known as forerunners in the car seat safety department. In Sweden the unusual thing would be to turn your child forward facing before the age of three, and it is common to keep them rear facing to the age of five (55 pounds being the usual upper weight limit for rear facing on Swedish car seats). Based on the crash data coming from Sweden, at least one current study says the U.S. should recommend that children remain rear facing until the age of four, and that manufacturers of U.S. car seats should begin making seats with higher weight limit restrictions to accomodate this change. Some manufacturers have already responded to these demands, and have increased rear facing weight limits to 40 pounds or more. The seat we just bought for Calvin (the Sunshine Kids Radian 80SL) will allow him to remain rear facing to 45 pounds, and when we do turn him around it will keep him in a five point harness until he is 80 pounds (that's a conversation for another time, though, or you can read more about long term usage of a five point harness on the Kyle David Miller site).

That's my two cents, for what it's worth. You'll see where, in some cases, I've linked the original source of the data I am referencing. Other tid bits I've left unlinked because they are more widely discussed throughout the internet. For more information visit Car-Safety.org, where you'll find a great break down of the anatomy of a vehicular crash (though their car seat data does not reflect the most recent line of seats) and a forum where you can talk to safety technicians and other parents. Or visit the Kyle David Miller Foundation, where you'll find a page that really explains the medical support for ERF in clear terms, and several heart wrenching stories and videos.

One last thing. Regardless of your stand on the issue, keep in mind that a car seat isn't safe, rear or forward facing, unless it is installed and used properly and is a good fit for the car. If you have any concerns about your seat installation, or even if you don't, do an internet search or call the nearest pediatric hospital to find a car seat safety technician (CST) and set up an appointment to have the installation checked. They can also answer lots of questions and give great tips (like don't buckle your child into the seat wearing a coat!), and check your daily usage. Calvin and I did this just last week and I even though I was sure things were fine (and they were) I feel much safer having had it checked.

Ride safe.