Day 78 in 2020: isolation blog day 3

I had that moment today.

Calvin and I took Gimli out for an hour-long walk along our community trail where we saw more people than I have ever seen out on the trail in the past year of weekly walks there, and they were all either smiling and laughing or talking with great energy, no real moderation, no between. Gimli, of course, doesn't understand the difference. In our home, uniquely prepared for this time of isolation by our basic lifestyle and personalities, Gimli is the only one who has really suffered. He's confused when Jon doesn't go to work and expects continued playtime, not understanding when it is denied. His afternoon walk or hike has been shifted daily thus far, now that I don't have to drop a kid off at school at the same time daily, and yesterday we completely forgot to feed him lunch. Too many cooks. But we will eventually settle in to a new normal, and so will he.

But my moment today was bigger than that. I took pictures today and thought about what I wanted to write about how this isolation was changing things, affecting us, and there were so many things I thought I could say, all of them positive, or just informative. Then I sat down and edited pictures and the heaviness and extent of what we are facing finally hit me. The length of time, the extent of the loss. Months just gone from each other's lives. 

I snapped shots of Calvin practicing for dance down today, down in our basement where we created a mini studio for him a few years ago. He was working with videos sent home by his dance instructors, not unlike the remote learning he did with his bassoon teacher last weekend, or that Jon is doing with his piano students, but actually this was a little different. These are steps to dances prepared for a competition that may or may not happen (more likely not). That made it seem so sad, and I thought what a terrible, terrible loss this is for people at pivotal moments in outward life. These are his formative years, and he could spend some of them in veritable lock-down. 

But that still wasn't my moment. My actual moment came when I sat down to talk to him about it just before bed, to listen to his stresses, his sadness, and his uncertainty, and try to provide guidance or comfort. Then I realized that in the end, time will go on. Certain moments may be lost, but others will replace them and these will be what make up his formative years. Will they look like what I expected them to? No, but then this generation was never going to look like ours, or like what ours expected it to, either. They will make their own way and it will form them and the future may be better for it.

But honestly, that doesn't make it any less sad to me right now.

Day 77 in 2020: isolation blog day 2

Sometimes reality hits you like a rake handle to the face.

We've been floating along absorbing rapidly changing realities without batting an eye. Schools closed? No problem. Work from home? No problem. Stay in? Eh, we're introverts anyhow. Looking forward we've done very well accepting first postponements, then reschedulings, then even cancellations. But looking back can be jarring.

Today we got a package. I saw it on our mail list for the day and wasn't sure what it was, couldn't remember ordering anything as of late. But it wasn't something I'd ordered as of late, it was something I ordered almost two weeks ago with the idea of having it to enjoy over this coming weekend, which was to be a busy time for all three of us with Jon away at a conference and Calvin performing in both a big band to-do and his first ever dance competition. I had been so excited when I placed the order, not even two weeks ago, yet now here it is, a rather sudden reminder of all we have lost, and how quickly we lost it.

We are still here floating along, taking the punches as they roll, but it's important I think, too, to note the changes that are thrust at us, and sometimes to mourn them. This is not life as usual, and it, too, shall pass, but it will take oh so much with it. Let's just hope that, by giving up so much, the majority of what it takes will be moments of the past, not moments of the future.

(Jon teaching piano from home via Skype while I keep Gimli quiet in his favorite perch, the front window, or take him out and about...just part of our new reality)

Day 76 in 2020

In times of trouble...remind oneself of all there is to be thankful for. We are all home, Jon can continue working from here, and modern technology allows him to continue all aspects of his job, including teaching, from here, where we are safe and where we are helping others be safe, for the foreseeable future.

That being said...We. Are. All. Home. Eek.

Health professionals recommend maintaining some semblance of routine in the face of hardship, and we struggled a little to do that today. Sleeping in was too enticing, and without external time pressures, everything we did seemed to get later and later in the day compared to our usual. I've actually made out a schedule to see if we can get back on track tomorrow, but there is at least one thing we did right today. We enjoyed ourselves. That extra time we took for everything was enjoyed. And I got back something I've been missing for years—our full at-home homeschool day. 

Something else we did right today? We discovered our community. It wasn't long after the schools closed that neighbors invited us to join a facebook group aimed at connecting those with needs with those who could help. And even beyond needs, the group has risen to the challenge of connecting people while maintaining careful social distance, from community chats, to puzzle and game exchanges in boxes at the end of people's driveways, to happy birthday messages sent to kids now isolated at home, it is truly warming to see how we help each other, both physically and emotionally.

And that kind of assistance isn't limited to local community, either. Our homeschooling community has reached out with resources, suggestions, and support for parents who are newly finding themselves in shoes we've filled for years. And so many organizations once dependent on crowds are now turning to social media to fill the hole left by closed classrooms. Today Calvin and I tuned into an art lesson provided via facebook live, where we learned not only how to draw faces, but also how to learn along with thousands of people all across the country, not to mention some of our own friends right here in town. 

Distance learning, distance friendship, these are the key words (and lessons) of 2020 so far.

Day 75 in 2020

We are spinning a little from the rapidity with which the situation keeps changing. A week ago I was questioning my decision to stock food and supplies, just a few days ago I was grappling with decisions about one-on-one contact like Calvin's bassoon lesson, or the piano lessons Jon teaches. The news this morning, and the continued urging to completely isolate, made the decision that much easier today. You know what else makes it easy? Modern technology. Skype and FaceTime are our friends! Actually, that's almost literally true these days, as they are the only way we will be communing with friends for the foreseeable future. 

Let me just say, although video chat isn't the ideal way to have a music lesson, it sure beats the alternative of no lesson. 

Day 74, in 2020

Family only (minus our parents, whom we urged into isolation a week ago), and just good old farm chores and fun, far away from the contagions of life. We hope.